Standing Strong in Your Power

I think one of our biggest lessons in life, especially for someone who learns mostly through their connections with other people, is how to stop absorbing the feelings of others and start emanating your own vibrations, in a strong, solid and consistent way.

Earlier this year I posted a blog piece on the negative effects of having an extra large magnetic field and how easy it is for people who, due to living in unsafe or unstable environments growing up, become extra sensitive to the changes in mood of those around them. For these people, I consider myself one of them, we grew up staying more focused on the people around us rather than on ourselves. The way we learn, has more to do with how we experience others.

When you’re a child, if all is well in your environment, there’s no need to keenly measure the outside world, it becomes easiest to stay focused on what’s happening within and cultivate a strong connection with self that isn’t easily influenced by surrounding people and environments. This leads towards greater development of what we wish to cultivate internally and share with the world. Leading one to feeling they have the power to influence and impact the world and regulate their own internal state of wellbeing, independent of how others are feeling.

One of my biggest lessons in sovereignty as I began to step more fully into my power these past few years, was learning how to reduce receiving, retrieving and collecting information and energy from other people. The first break through was simply recognizing that I was mostly living in response to my environment, which made me feel as though I had to work extra hard to express my feelings, be seen, heard and understood. Being so concerned with how others will react to what you express really limits natural expression or has the adverse effect of making you become too forceful about it. Speaking your truth can become next to impossible, especially when how others respond to you highly affects your internal state of being and how you feel. It’s as though I felt I had to constantly fight against absorbing others’ truth over my own truth.

Life becomes very confusing when you’re not living your day-to-day according to your personal sense of self. I think this aspect of childhood development becomes the foundational building blocks for the wounded healer to emerge. If everyone around is happy it’s easy to be yourself and feel your depths but when people are unhappy–especially with you– it becomes way too easy to absorb what’s being expressed and try to figure out how to adjust the situation, fix it and respond in a way that ensures everyone is happy again. Becoming conditioned in this behavioural pattern we subconsciously seek out people to fix. Where does that leave you and your personal feelings, desires and wellbeing? Last on the list.

We are born alone and we die alone, we must all walk our own paths.

We can extend a helping hand when asked. We can open up a practice around helping others find wellbeing, where we can sit down and discuss options and solutions to betterment but it’s not up to any of us to fix other people’s behaviours, especially when it’s simply to make ourselves feel better.

We have our children that we must help guide but aside from that we are all simply on our unique life paths, living according to our own trial and errors and natural evolution. This is why allowing ourselves to gravitate towards people whom we have heart resonance with is so important.

We often gravitate towards people for the wrong reasons, especially if we’ve grown up in tricky environments that required us to respond more frequently to the outside world rather than the inside world. When we’ve learnt to manage the outside world by trying to control it, or negate it because it’s the only way we know how to manage our internal world, we can easily develop highly manipulative tactics to protect ourselves, essentially to protect our feelings. Often later on in life we gravitate towards others that fall into this category with us. The word manipulation has a bad reputation but ultimately one can be manipulating people and situations with the goal of helping them alongside themselves. The best reminder here is that it’s not what’s happening to us but how we respond to it.

There are many ways that absorbing other people’s feelings can affect us, one of them is when someone takes things personally. You’re expressing your feelings or discussing perspectives and the other person immediately take on what you’re saying as a personal attack, often defending themselves to what you were saying while in fact it had nothing to do with them at all. This is also a problem of absorbing other’s truth instead of feeling strong in your own truth.

The good news is, there is less and less room to absorb others’ truths the more you feel solid about who you are, firstly knowing your own truth and then beginning to live life from that place. There is no longer even the need to distinguish what you are not, in comparison to another, there is simply a gentle unwavering knowing of who you are.

Being sovereign, holding tight to personal power while uniting personal and cosmic will is to stay connected both to your feelings and other’s feelings but not allow one to have an upper hand over the other.

When we begin to emit our own frequency more so than absorb others’ it’s because we have become fully invested in who we are and what we enjoy doing. We’ve learned what our likes and dislikes are, and we honour ourselves each step of the way with every decision we make. We don’t do things to please others out of a sense of inner confusion or lack but rather we leave the door open to help others when they directly ask and we do so only because it’s completely possible and self-loving. We trust our inner guidance and have set up healthy boundaries for ourselves and others to follow by speaking our truth in a compassionate way.

Tips to cultivating your Power (Emitting your vibe more than absorbing other’s)

• Learn to enjoy spending time alone
• Cultivate your own interests
• Spend time getting to know yourself & what motivates you
• Learn to listen to your personal intuition
• Take your time to respond to outside stimuli and do so from your place of inner truth rather than from a, ‘how do I fix this situation or make it better’ place.
• If you find yourself over reacting or triggered by someone’s behaviour take time to heal the wounds within that created your vulnerability to them in the first place.
• Use mindfulness and presence practices to cultivate inner peace and strength
• Allow your heart to guide you to the people and places that are best suited to help empower you
• Stay focused on your goals
• Practice a self-care routine

Good luck being less reactive to the world and more pro-active towards creating the vibe you can thrive in and share with others!

One love,

J