This Blog post is dedicated to the feely, mushy, lovey dovey empath types out there that keep on getting hooked into the wrong types of people, getting their hearts broken endlessly. Empaths aren’t necessarily naive, we are simply incorrigible lovers. We love to love and due to our sensitive nature we have learned to find the diamond in the rough—no matter how deeply buried— and focus on it to the point where we literally ignore all the rest, even the red flags, those aspects within others that could be damaging to our mental, emotional and physical wellbeing.
Whether we are female or male, false lovers exist for both. Have you ever met a full on player or a girl who is outright after your cash? These are not the people I speak of, they are to some degree respectable. They offer their truth, authenticity and make no excuses for who they are and what they are after, sex and/or money. I can relate to their honesty, it allows us to make a conscious choice and once that choice is made they usually respect it in return and a fun relationship can develop on mutual trust. If one wishes to pursue anyway, at least when the shit hits the fan and you realize you wanted something deeper you only have yourself to blame.
Those who I speak of are highly covert with their endeavours to take what they want from you with no regards to your feelings or personal journey. They are those that are highly intelligent and manipulative in their tactics to control your sexuality, that which ultimately leads to mind control. It can also be understood as mind control that leads to controlling that person’s sexuality or bank account.
These are not bad people at their core, I don’t believe anyone is, they are people who have, due to their childhood and life experiences, extreme self-worth issues and are vibrating in a constant state of grief. They are those that fear rejection and being hurt to such a degree that they chose to not take any chances of opening themselves up to vulnerability and love. They are so grief stricken that they can not even begin to contemplate allowing nature to run its course and lead them naturally and gently to a person who would be a good match to their personality, love language and evolution. Someone who they could discover life with and appreciate each other as they chase after their dreams.
They are the people that need to feel in control on every level. They need to control exactly how they wish to interact and how much they let others into their inner worlds. The risk is otherwise too great for them. They can not imagine taking the chance of being hurt again. I feel for them as my heart has been broken before too as I’m sure almost anyone reading this can relate to. These people have been hurt on a much deeper level though, walls have been so securely put in place that they themselves likely not know they exist.
I like to call this type of interaction Mindfuckery at its finest. The mental games run incredibly deep, nothing is unthought of. Every little communication and interaction with potential lovers or business potential is carefully plotted out first in order to limit all possibilities of them getting hurt or losing. Nothing they say is authentic, everything they say is in fact scripted. They have no intention of experiencing a sincere relationship in which they can grow and discover themselves further through a natural relationship dynamic. They are simply there to get what they want and when they are done they will simply leave you at the curb with no remorse and no excuses, on to the next.
This has been an ongoing collective healing throughout 2016 leading into 2017. Many people I have interacted with are/were faced with the fact that they have ultimately fallen into the trap of false love, clinging to the belief that those who broke their hearts can not possibly be as cold hearted as they appear. Often a warning will appear on sites that offer these types of tactics for mind control that the receiver could potentially lash out violently at them or become a stalker as they endlessly search for the missing pieces to the puzzle. The ironic scenario is for those who actually see beneath the games and see the beautiful soul with a million qualities that they themselves are unable to see, due to lack of self love.
Here are some of the key tactics used by False Lovers.
- They stay as mysterious as possible, never allowing you into their inner worlds so that they can draw you in with this age old allure while leaving room to keep you in the dark about who they are, never giving you a chance to see their weaknesses and make them feel vulnerable thus catching on to their game.
- They will always keep you waiting on communications. The psychology behind this is simple, we are drawn in deeper to what we can not have. You know those potential partners that leave you hanging for longer than necessary in order to keep you thinking and waiting on them for one simple reply? The more time you think of them, the more your energy gets hooked into their fields, creating a stronger energetic cord of power over you.
- They will use reverse psychology on you at every chance they get, let’s face it, everyone knows reverse psychology works like a charm.
- At the beginning they will express approval over your negative qualities and eventually turn them against you. Allowing you to buy into your own bullshit at first, where a real lover would lovingly challenge you.
- They will overlook your good qualities creating a space for insecurity to develop, creating the impression that they know something you do not.
- They are big story tellers, every person admires someone who can tell a good story and entertain. They make a point to learn this skill but usually their stories are quite boring and there’s no real authenticity behind them. Often going on about all the amazing things they have (or don’t really) to keep your attention on them.
- They will appear to be independent and detached because they literally don’t care about whether you come or go. To them you are nothing more than the mere catch of the day, month or year.
- They will always appear to be fun loving and upbeat, never really expressing a natural array of emotions because they wish to maintain a false sense of perfection and popularity. The more they are liked, talked about and praised the better chances they have at obtaining what they want, whether that be opportunities in money or sex.
- They will constantly be studying behind the scenes what you can offer them in regards to potential prestige, opportunities of business, obtaining access to your network-who you know that can further their end goals and other potential lovers to use to their advantage.
For those men and women out there that believe using these tactics is still ‘challenging’ oneself in the game of life, there is nothing less challenging then following set rules that guarantee a fixed outcome based on the natural principals of psychology. That’s just plain cheating. The TRUE challenge is in meeting someone with authenticity, with an open heart and mind. This is when life can truly begin to teach you about knowing thyself.
Due to the natural laws of this universe and how it is constantly wishing to balance itself out, empaths will naturally be a match to these people and vice versa. Where fractionators increase empaths’ awareness of the limitations of the ego and it’s power of persuasion, empaths increase fractionators awareness of the possibilities of living in self-love and authenticity.
As we step into greater sovereignty, the intentions behind these types of connections will become more and more apparent and these broken people will begin to heal themselves slowly as their focus moves into their deepest traumas and pain. It will allow them to face their inner demons, the ones still controlling their lives and limiting their experience of freedom.
Empaths are learning to not love blindly but to harness the power of the mind equally, creating a balanced state of being so they can live in a world where they are less vulnerable to life’s shadows and illusions. It is equally healing empaths, many of whom have been sexually abused and objectified, forcing them to own their sexuality once again.
Take time to get to know a potential lover, if you feel an extra ordinary attraction or attachment to them take a moment to ask yourself questions about their behaviour and whether or not they fit the match of a False Lover, based on the tactics mentioned above. Never sell yourself short and know that you deserve to be seen, heard and felt on a deep level by friends and lovers alike! Chose wisely and think BALANCE!
Blog on sacred connection coming soon!
One Love,
J