Google definition of as·cen·sion
əˈsen(t)SH(ə)n/
noun: ascension; plural noun: ascensions
- the act of rising to an important position or a higher level.”his ascension to the ranks of pop star”.
Presented within this google definition of ascension is the problematic, popularized and washed down journey towards Enlightenment! We are all conditioned by our ego’s grasping for survival and evolution. The natural way of the lower ego is to push down what it feels is limiting its evolution by discerning through mental markers that which it is above.
I’ve been spiritual most of my life. That can mean many different things to different people. To me being spiritual means that I’m aiming to see the greater picture within this miracle called life, to develop eyes wide enough to see the inner workings of the great mystery and to taste what cosmic love is. It’s something that is next to impossible to capture but none the less I will continue to chase it, even if that means having it elude my tangible physical experience till the very day I die.
We try to capture love but love is everywhere and moves through everything, therefore it needs no capturing but the human condition makes us chase it and attempts to keep it confined in fear that it will disappear. It’s deeply embedded in the underpinnings of the universe, we find it in all we see if we have eyes to see it and we can only come close to tasting it through divine sexual union, something very few of us are privy to experiencing during our lifetimes.
I grew up catholic, well kind of. My mom would ship me off every Sunday morning to Sunday school in the Italian district, St.Michel & 14th Avenue. I completed four of the seven sacraments of Initiation; baptism, confirmation, first communion, confession, marriage, Holy Orders and anointing of the sick. It was all very vague, I was young and really didn’t grasp what I was partaking in at the time. All I can remember is being really bored in church, falling asleep during mass and having my amazing aunt design me an incredible yellow one-of-a-kind dress for my confirmation. She was a designer for the Circle du Soleil at the time so you can just image the flare! But I remember something important that stuck out— it’s an emotional memory— when I went into confession, I remember feeling lots of shame when I exited. I also remember most of the children I played with in the area talking about being a sinner and going to hell.
The Italian family that babysat me next door between the age of 6 and 12 were amazing people. I remember helping the mom pile fabric to sow and they’d give me espresso, mix egg yolk with white sugar and also give me red wine occasionally. Not the best diet for a child but let’s face it, traditions are often unhealthy. One event that stood out was when I was accused of stealing from the Nutella jar! Yes I did take a heaping spoonful one day after school and yes I did lie about it but that event was held against me for months not to mention the big deal it caused at the time when the big sister found out. The whole family talked to me about it and reminded me that stealing and lying was a sin. Fuck man it was just Nutella I thought, it doesn’t make me a bad person. Even my mom who was advised of the great issue came down on me, I think I had to spend the week in my room or something. I still couldn’t image, even at that tender age that God would send me to hell for stealing a large heaping spoonful of Nutella and hiding the fact but the feeling of having those I loved feel disappointed in me had a huge impact. I had this look on my face for weeks that a dog has after getting in trouble for chewing a shoe. The shaming lasted for a really long time and they made sure to remind me that I had to follow specific rules in order to ascend to heaven after I died.
As much as my definition of spirituality does not require me to adhere to specific religious or spiritual doctrines, I have dipped in and out of various such belief systems upheld within the various communities over the years to meet others on a mission to discover the great mystery. These various religious and spiritual lenses are human’s attempts at creating a path to freedom through self-knowledge, thus ascension towards our highest selves, the highest good for all of mankind but we can’t forget they come from our limited human perspectives. Much of the time they prove themselves to be dogma, actually keeping us stuck, working as a catch 22, they end up limiting evolution through parochial bias.
The ancient idea of Ascension (look here for more info) reappeared within my experiential sphere at the end of the Mayan calendar in 2012 when the New Age Community began to popularized it within the spiritual awakening phenomena, basically a resurgence of an old idea in a new suit for a new generation. The idea behind it is that we are ascending from ego based thinking to heart-centered living, from human form to crystalline form, all possible steps in our physio-psycho-biological evolution which would entail the possibility of humans departing the earth at will with their human form intact because it would be vibrating at such a high rate that its energetic frequency would permit us to pop in and out of the third dimensional reality. Equivalent to the quantum understanding of how sub atomic particles are in fact pure energy dipping in and out of physical form, moving through various vibratory levels. If we can reach a state of utter purity—rid ourselves of human conditioning— then we too complete with our flesh suits intact can obtain this dipping out into the higher vibrational ocean of divinity.
This is not a new theory, it is believed that many throughout the ages have accomplished this feat such as the Ascended Masters- to name a few, Quan Kin, St. Germain, Paramahansa Yogananda, Lord Lanto and of course Jesus Christ. Various monks, gods, goddesses and gurus that seemingly disappeared off the face of the earth into dreamtime (4th & 5th dimension moving upwards) by following the path of Enlightenment – a deep understanding of the interconnectedness of all things and a superhuman communion with god source.
Enlightenment simplified is about bringing our best forward by doing the inner work to rid ourselves of trauma and societal conditioning and it’s about anchoring as many good vibes as we can into a world of suffering. My life path has often challenged me to stay focused on anchoring love into some of the darkest places people find themselves, this is an outward reflection of the inner-work I do within myself. We all have our unique outward expression of the unique inward path towards enlightenment that we are taking.
I feel connected like many of you to the greater web of life, to such a degree that I often find myself laughing out loud like a crazy person. Which ever aspect of life you chose to focus on, right there can be seen, through the law of mirroring the connection between any other seemingly superfluous aspects of life. This perceptual experience within my personal ascension has left me in many blissful states of utter Awe as I observe how incredibly interwoven this experience we call life truly is.
I’ve been forced to ditch my ego self trying to understand logically how the great mystery actually works on a finite level day in and day out because it is too vast and too grand to comprehend simply with the human mind. BUT we can feel it through our experience of Love. Love is the only language that is Universal and when we learn to see it—we can find it and experience it. We might touch it more so through one person or earthly thing, a way of anchoring it in to our experience but we must know that the love we feel is ultimately emanating from within us first. Enlightenment is ultimately searching inwards, move past layer and layer to finally arrive at our core, the place where we are whole rather than fragmented.
One concrete understanding of this great mystery that I’ve concluded is that our perceived reality reflects our inner state of being. If I am unsure as to what I am feeling in any given moment I just tune in to what is being presented to me in my immediate environment. Nestled in the collective meaning of numbers, the lyrics of songs being playing on the satellite, to the larger context and themes being portrayed in the situations and scenarios around me, all are reverberating back into my experience what I am emanating outwards and where I find my current state-of-self resonating. This is especially instantaneous in regards to understanding our Reactionary Vibration vs our Proactive Vibration, our proactive vibration often takes a little longer to steep through the universal field. If I don’t like what I see I can change the channel for example but sometimes a particular perception will keep resurfacing through outer stimuli. This is when we need to enter into the dream cave within to do the inner work, peel back the layers of illusion, pain and trauma to resurface again feeling a new state of self, a more enjoyable state that can then be reflected back on to us with greater perfection.
We are the universe, we are the great mystery all wrapped-up together. It is essential as we move through layers of our being towards enlightenment that we hold each other with the greatest compassion. It is not in our access to higher realms that we peer down at others with our greater knowledge, it is in our capacity to see through the veil of conditioning that allows us to hold each other equally in the same light. The pressure to rise is huge. The awakening matrix that man has created as a container of motivation often pushes us to evolve faster and faster. Each person contains within them their perfect timeline based on their personal Karma, Samsaras and life challenges, honouring where we are at shamelessly is the only way to free ourselves from the catch 22 of ascension.
The reason I believe it is so important to make a point of this is because within myself the pressure is great to evolve as I am sure it is for many of you, who doesn’t want to be freed of internal chaos completely? What is problematic about this pressure to transcend quickly is that sometimes it pushes us to move faster than the time required to truly heal our wounds. There is nothing more important in the healing process than honouring the time required to do the healing work itself. For some that means a whole life time while for others it means years, or months or simply weeks.
Much of the destress I see in others that have gravitated towards the accession phenomena is due to the pressures of trying to move too quickly, they are pigeon holed in the idea that they must heal now and be perfect or forever be locked into the third dimension of ‘lower frequencies’ (a term denoting the problem itself). The shame that surrounds not being ready fast enough weighs each person down even more, pressuring them to skip essential steps in their healing process and thus reflecting that judgement and pressure back on to others, creating a vicious cycle.
Our darkness is nothing to be ashamed of, it is meant to be cherished, loved, integrated and owned as a badge of bravery. Instead of enjoying the ride towards enlightenment we take on an extra layer of suffering that reinforces the idea of inadequacy and lack. Those are opposite vibrations to self-love and inner wisdom. This inner feeling of shame also leads us to hide our darkness where it enviably festers and grows. We are so perfect with all our light and darkness, it is between the self play of both that we are able to move inwards in the first place.
I have met no one on my path that has reached a perfect state of enlightenment, this journey will likely take us all a complete life time to fulfil at best as we continuously heal deeper layers of ourselves allowing us to enjoy this miracle called life more and more each day. I believe the truest test of our evolution lies in how well we can hold space for others that are still working through the lessons we ourselves have passed through while maintaining our power and compassion. This is when we are angel tested to see how far we have come along. If we are bothered by a lower vibrational exchange, how well can we manage to clear that trigger within ourselves so we can more readily point the other in the direction of light, without needing to mark the difference between what we know and they still have yet to learn? How well can we gently cradle them back into the deepest parts of themselves while staying humble? And lastly how well can we stay accessible to all of Gods creation while maintaining a vibration of love?
Know yourself well enough to know when you need to humbly walk away and do the inner work. Find a way to help others rise with you, play the know thyself game instead of the proclaiming what you are not in comparison to others game as your path to Enlightenment!
One Love,
J