Category: Shadow Hunting

Being someone who feels energy too intensely sometimes, it’s easy for me to feel when other people’s energy centres are out of balance. If you spend time connecting with your own energy centres and balancing them regularly, you’ll be even more sensitive to when other’s don’t have an energetic self-care routine in place for themselves.

Sometimes over or under active centres go unnoticed even for those people who are aware of the subtle flow of energy within them. This happens when we are unconscious of certain shadow or hidden aspects of self influencing the natural flow of energy moving within the body from the crown chakra down to the base of our spine and back up.

Aspects of self that have yet to be revealed to us will pool energetically or deplete their corresponding energy centres and begin to manifest in our lives as situations, people, feelings and physical aliments to reveal themselves to us, make themselves conscious, so we can become more self-aware, grow and evolve.

If we carry any major traumas within specific centres, we’ll be more predisposed to feeling others corresponding energy centres, especially when they’re out of alignment. So for example, because I have trauma in my second chakra, related both to a loss of identity as a child and sexual abuse, I will be more attuned to other’s overactive or underactive second chakra energy. I can simply feel a person’s sexual energy without looking at them or observing their behaviour. In the community when someone has an over active second chakra we call this a leaky second chakra.

If someone has much suppressed sexual energy that pools in their second charka, trapped there and no longer able to flow freely back up or down they’ll leak sexual energy and others will feel this energy emanating from them at a distance, even if they themselves can’t feel it.

Often this will happen if they are in an unhealthy relationship to their sexuality, sexually under stimulated,  carry repressed sexual energy due to abuse or feelings of shame about their sexuality. Same goes for over stimulation, possibly participating in too many sexual activities that they’re not fully consenting to on a heart level or feel completely safe in doing, consciously or subconsciously.

You can have someone in front of you who talks very conservatively about sex yet they’re leaking sexual energy in large quantities which they can be oblivious to, yet felt deeply by those around them. This excess or repressed sexual energy can become a threat to certain people who have a sensitivity to that area or a threat to their sense of security within a relationship or friendship.

You might feel jealously for your partner towards someone who has a leaky second chakra that is affecting your partner on a conscious or subconscious level. It is easy to feel this energy as a threat from another, even if they aren’t actively pursuing your partner or making blatant advances.

In tantra we learn to observe the flow of sexual life force within the body and distinguish between the various types of vibrations in which vital energy can be shared with others. Sharing our vital energy sensually does not emanate a sexual vibration. We can learn more about the different arrays of sexual energy we emanate through studying our sexual history and exploring the shadow aspects of our sexuality.

Learning how to distinguish between the various types of sexual energy we emanate will free us from unintentionally disrupting the people around us or manifesting the wrong people and scenarios. We can feel a difference between a grasping, dominating sexual energy to a loving erotic sexual energy or a repressed dark sexual energy filled with fear and shame to a heart based sexual energy. If we are not aware of the type of sexual energy we are offering others we can not chose what experiences we would like to have in our lives.

In today’s western society we are aware that we are lacking basic touch, as a therapist that works directly with people’s bodies and energy, I can sense when someone is in need of this fundamental human healing touch, which does not feel like sexual energy in the least, it feels like a very natural opening to an exchange of vital energy, which can be very healthy and healing.

Firstly, taking the time to connect with our vital energy is so important, it fuels our creativity and revitalizes our being on an emotional, mental, physical and soul level. Learning how to move the energy around in our bodies is key to longevity and personal expansion and then learning to manage our vital energy so we are manifesting situations in our lives that are aligned with our visions and heart’s desires the final key to fruitful experiences.

I highly recommend exploring your shadow aspects of sexuality in a safe environment to learn to recognize your hidden sexual energy effectively so as to own your sexual forces rather than have it own you and create havoc in your life.

One love,

J

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I have some sacred anger brewing and it has nothing to do with feminism. I’ve been a girl’s guy most of my life. I’m not sure if that has anything to do with my mercury being in virgo; being a female more predisposed to strategic thinking or if it has to do with having been separated from my father at an earlier age, creating the conditions for me to seek acceptance and approval from men in general.

Either way I’ve spent lots of time with men, fitting in and learning what motivates them, for many years limiting, to a large degree, my feminine expression to stay privy to being an observer in their environment without impeding upon their natural expression around other men. From the high school boys club to the higher and lower echelons of racketeers to middle class society workplaces and within millionaire club circles, all carry within them this lower dimensional and superficial way of interacting with each other that maintains an unprotected economy.

The most common strong hold within these boys clubs is a ‘you scratch my back and I scratch your back’ business type loyalty. This type of loyalty has nothing to do with real friendship or heart based living, although many might have real friendships, it’s not a prerequisite to this type of ubiquitous business loyalty. This opportunist loyalty exists only because of the million dollar club paradigm which is driven by a patriarchal thirst for money—at all costs—and power.

This is the same paradigm that keeps both high and low level corruption in-tact. The idea behind it is that I must maintain a gift-relationship with anyone in power no matter what they represent, so that down the line when I need a favour I have an influential rolodex of people to call on. It’s a no trace back-scratch system that was birthed from the common mis-understanding between men that the favour supersedes the intention behind the asking. Binding the system into high level corruption from the bottom up.

This is a shadow aspect within the masculine collective, that both the divine masculine and feminine are working to infuse their light into. When there’s a no-trace attitude towards loyalty, there’s a complete breakdown of integrity within the money system, which is in fact an energy system. Nothing is transparent within these exchanges because the end goal was never about maintaining moral integrity within our economic exchanges. It’s about the collective shadow agreement, that we’re all trying to make it into the million dollar club and I’m not going to judge you on how you go about that, if you don’t judge me on how I go about it either, as long as you don’t step on my profit in the process.

Just as kick backs between corporations and governments rule our health, agriculture, education, media and social legislation, so do back-scratches between the average dealmaker rule the atmosphere on the streets, integrity of communities, the tone of social circles, success and integrity of local business service offerings and our cultural, and media expressions.

We are at a point where we are realizing that the mainstream desire to get rich should not supersede our heart-centric desire to hold each other responsible to a healthy and balanced society. I know for a fact that when you have money and/or contacts in this world, you are no longer seen as a real person but rather a gateway to be managed for opportunity and profit.

You’re constantly being offered things and loyalty from many whom you come into contact with, not because there’s a true appreciation for who you are or because you’ve established a wonderful friendship but because of fear driven survival based thinking. The voice that whispers, “if I accumulate enough points with this person they will possibly scratch my back down the line and in turn, will help me climb up the ladder where I can sit back, with cocktail in one hand and trophy wife on the other.” Feeding these superficial connections also maintains a false sense of security and power in the world. When we should really be investing our energy and focus into people that are working towards bettering society, bringing about equality and positive change in the world.

“Sovereignty is to be free, it’s like the kundalini of our economic system” Trinity

The only way to go about tearing down the old corrupt system is to begin to reclaim the sacred within our money exchanges. To offer others opportunities not because you know somewhere down the line they could become an asset to you but because you like who they are, their relationship to society and what they represent on a fundamental level. This is a far cry from how things are currently bound together and I know it might seem like you have to play the old game to accumulate enough wealth to make the positive changes you are looking for but the 100th monkey is real and it doesn’t take as many people to switch thinking before the tipping point of change occurs. If each person heals their relationship to self they’ll no longer be driven by this old paradigm which has nothing to do with global integrity and all to do with personal greed.

There are many ways in which negative conditioning within unawakened woman are upholding this within the masculine consciousness too, so this ultimately falls onto all, making responsible choices within each and every exchange.

One Love,

J

 

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Coming out of an awakening portal feels like waking up from a nightmare that stole an immeasurable amount of time away from you. Just as dreams are easily forgotten, so too can the pain of waking up to who we are on a deeper level. We often only remember the good things that happen in life, don’t we? The bad things we seem to chew on until they turn into a pulp, then digest them in order to birth forth the good that came from the lesson, if we permitted ourselves the time to do so. When we’re waking up, everything slows down dramatically. I remember spending at least 3 months pushing myself out of bed in the morning and feeling like someone had slipped a hit of acid in my mouth an hour before getting up.

Keeping up with life, getting up for the kids, continuing to work, was like trying to push a giant bolder around every where I went, but I did it, we do it, it’s amazing how resilient we are.  I truly understood pain on a whole new level, it wasn’t like I had lost someone close or found out someone was sick, this pain was different, deeper, if that is even possible. I tried not to look at it like selfish pain because that’s what I had done to myself my whole life. I never dared complain about my feelings, it was a given I would push myself aside to help the person in front of me that needed it the most. This was my role growing up so this is what I knew how to do best. My feelings were always insignificant compared to the emotional upheavals happening around me, this felt like a very normal way to be.

Growing up in a home where feelings are not acknowledged or worse when you are shamed for expressing any emotions, you become desensitized to your own feelings to the point where you don’t even know when you are being violated outside your home, you have no reference point to what is normal. The way we compensate for this is by growing a really thick layer between ourselves and the world. It’s very easy to develop a screw the world attitude because we established earlier on that no one close actually cares how we feel, nor do they wish to help us accomplish anything that could possibly make us feel good about ourselves and if they did, somehow it was a trick.

 

The thawing out process from this state of disassociation is very humbling. First having to acknowledge how diminished and compromised you were as a child is painful enough and second having to realize that because of that, you trust no-one and are so self-reliant to the point where you disconnect, even from the people who genuinely care for you.

During the healing process it’s necessary to keep a safe space for yourself by focusing on yourself and your needs only (finally!), as you build yourself back up to a healthy relationship with self, the people in your life and community. When your sense of self-worth was compromised it becomes a crucial part of the healing process to be seen, heard, acknowledged and to do what feels good to you, rather than everyone else. Creating this ‘selfish’ space for yourself is a necessary step before coming back into healthy balance and stepping into self-empowerment.

If you were constantly shamed as a child, you grew skin thick enough to not allow shaming to cut you emotionally anymore. This suppressed shame can be dangerous because it creates space for lack of empathy to emerge and for anything, slightly considered unacceptable, to turn into deep seated shadow behaviour. All a child wants, is to feel loved and accepted and when he/she is not being met with compassion in this regard, the walls go up and often so high and too thick to continue feeling the pain of those around them. We can only meet people where we are at, so it’s impossible to acknowledge something in another that you yourself have suppressed within your own being. We are blind to our own needs and therefore we are blind to the needs of others.

This type of upbringing, where you had to fight for your every last sense of self can leave you very apathetic to the world, if left unattended it can flip into deep rage. Often the people who have been the most neglected, shamed and unloved as children will have built up so many walls that they can no longer express their feelings as they naturally rise up, turning them into a ticking time-bomb of repressed emotions.

I’m sure you’ve all seen this many times in your life, a person explodes in rage and two seconds later burst out in tears, finally the self-acknowledgement of emotions that was needed! Hopefully not after having harmed another person. These fits of anger are often not done out of malice but rather out of a desperate need for their emotions to be seen and validated within themselves first and foremost and then by the other. Through learned, continuous self-violation of neglecting their emotions, they continuously shove their feelings back down, time and time again to please those around them. This not only causes repressed anger but also anxiety attacks, manipulation tactics, covert shadow behaviour, the need for extreme privacy or exaggerated transparency and a general lack of empathy towards others feelings.

Authentic expression is where healing can truly occur because it allows us to be in a state of self-acceptance to what is arising. When we gently allow ourselves to open up to who we are and what we are feeling, admit these feelings to ourselves and then the world, we are no longer held in a choke hold by them. Our need to stay in the loop of self-sabotage and self negation–that keeps us fragmented and emotions pent up– is no longer necessary. We can finally step into our truth which is a state of self-love and self-acceptance. Once in a healthy state of balance within ourselves we can develop healthy relationships with the other people in our lives, not needing to keep everyone at arms distance, nor needing to cling to them in fear. Simply allowing ourselves to feel, finally once again, is the beginning of saying YES to life, the beginning of truly connecting with others and co-creating in a healthy and heart based way.

 

One Love,

J

 

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Empaths are really interesting people in the sense that we mirror to others what they are emanating. If life has carved you into a highly developed empath, you’ll naturally absorb and reflect the energy of those around you more so than someone who grew up in a home that honoured their unique gifts.

TwinFlames ummmm, I remember this similar idea popping up in my teens with soulmates and thinking, “wow, how cool would that be to find the one that’s the perfect puzzle piece to me!”, especially being someone who has felt homesick most of my life. I came to the conclusion quickly though that there are way too many variables at play for that to happen, including the fact that we are constantly changing and morphing into new versions of ourselves with almost every season.

The idea of a TwinFlame is that one soul separates into a masculine and feminine aspect before entering life here on the planet and eventually find each other and merge back together energetically. This merging would happen on many layers of our being, mentally, emotionally, heart fusion and with the auras. This would allow them to combine forces and co-create in a powerful and exceptionally rare way. A way that would allow them to accomplish a hundred fold what they would normally be able to accomplish alone.

I believe some of us are more similar in energetic blue print and life path than others, we all know that sensation of familiarity, being around someone whom thinks in a similar way and carries similar beliefs to us. It’s the kind of feeling you get when you don’t really have to work hard to explain yourself to the other because you feel they understand you on a very deep level already. We all connect to different people in different ways and the way I see it, some of us will connect more so because certain chakras within are vibrating at similar rates.

We might have similar family values (1st chakra) but nothing in common when it comes to personality (3rd chakra) or a strong connection to the universe or spirit (7th chakra) but very different life purposes(2nd chakra). Some of us might have barely anything in common and yet it just feels good to be around each other. Some of us might have had a very similar upbringing but don’t connect at all when it comes to our goals and aspirations.

We’re all connected on different levels despite race, religious or spiritual beliefs, personality, character, cultural and societal conditionings but there is another layer of truth when it comes to soul essence that can be understood more clearly.

I love this example; If you look at the ocean as the collective body that is spirit, which has various currents within it, some of us are more closely linked due to our ‘current’ of origin. This is what people refer to in the spiritual community as the various soul tribes within the larger tribe or family of awakened souls that gather. Some of us will naturally gravitate towards each other, based on a phenomenon called heart resonance and other similarities in the way we vibrate due to our thinking, feeling and expressing eg.

The TwinFlame idea could then be put into perspective that way, a single current within the larger current that splits into two and enters the earth as different aspects of the very same soul incarnating simultaneously. Sounds like a one in a million chance someone would find their exact stream here on earth, unless you believe that some things are pre-arranged or destined to happen to fulfil a joint-life purpose.

The closer two currents or sparks of light were, before entering the earth, the greater the heart resonance felt when finding each other here on the planet. I’m estimating that there are approximately 150,000 souls incarnating on the earth from similar ‘currents’, at the same time. Which means we have the chance of meeting 150,000 people that will generate a feeling of home within us and activate us into new heights of wellbeing and creation.

A highly developed yet not-fully-awakened empath can easily become everybody’s TwinFlame because they absorb the energy of the people around them and perfectly mirror it back to them , mirroring the exact energetic imprint of any given person in any given situation. This creates the feeling that we are encountering that other half of ourselves in either a masculine or feminine form. (Actual physical gender of the person doesn’t dictate this, it’s more so the predominating energies of shiva or shakti within the other that compliment one another along with the heart resonance for true TwinFlames.)

Heart resonance is a very warm and fuzzy feeling, it produces sensations of ecstasy when intimate, often leading to cosmic love making, out of body experiences, distant telepathy and all sorts of other strange phenomena.

It is understood that the love we will feel for our TwinFlames will be so great that it will push to the surface anything within us of lower frequency that is preventing us from loving ourselves completely and unconditionally. Also with highly developed empaths we will experience this same thing because they will mirror back to us anything unhealed within that still needs to be seen and loved unconditionally.

The difference between the empath connection and the TwinFlame connection is that we will begin to see beneath the empathic mirroring of our partners the more time we spend with them. We will see their true essence, one that might not be at all similar to ours and we’ll feel a sudden disconnect. At which point we realize we’ve mistakingly understood their mirroring for who they were. Who they are fundamentally is completely different, they were simply a superficial connection to something deeper within ourselves.

Two similar souls such as TwinFlames, even if empathic will continue to unravel each other only to discover their similarities to a greater and greater degree.

The reason why I personally gravitate towards the TwinFlame concept is because I am a person with an unwavering purpose, it has always been my main drive, I’m on a spiritual life mission. My priorities have never been aligned with that of the average person. We all have life purposes but some of us are much more pushed by these. You can learn about whether you have a strong purpose influencing your life in your astrological chart but you’ll know because you’ll have to face it again and again throughout your life. Those who have a very deeply embedded spiritual life-purpose understand that it transcends the normal goals and contentment found in the average milestone.

The attraction is that when TwinFlames come together they can co-create on a very successful and heightened level, how awesome is that? If you are both driven by a similar purpose. If two people can activate each other and fortify each other, you can complete the same amount of work that would normally be done in six hours, in two, or ten years in three. Making for a pretty solid team to tackle some of the current challenges we are facing around the globe and within the collective unconscious of the human mind.

The idea that many people might be reuniting with their TwinFlames simultaneously during this lifetime increases the chances of accomplishing within one generation, what 4-5 generations would normally take to accomplish, how exciting! Even if you don’t have a TwinFlame on the planet with you, which you probably would know instinctually if you did, all that is necessary, for you to experience the acceleration process of your soul’s evolution, is to hang out with a bunch of empaths and allow yourself to get triggered to the umpteenth degree. This may sound a little harsh but sometimes the biggest challenges in life are the ones that pay off the most. If you wish to shed skin that isn’t serving your highest calling then jumping into your abyss, by allowing yourself to come into contact with yourself through a highly developed empath will do the job.

The best way to move forward for those looking to find a strong connection with another human being to co-create with on a larger scale, is to work towards a conscious relationship. Not enough room in here to dive into that concept right now but I will post something at one point. The concept of the conscious relationship is that it would create the same circumstances and results of that of a TwinFlame connection. Driving both to new heights of wellbeing and co-creation towards bettering humanity.

If you are in the process of what you think is a TwinFlame entanglement, which could possibly be an empathic entanglement and need some help sorting through the utter chaos it has created in your life, feel free to contact me to set up a session here. I have lots of tools in my back pocket to help you untangle yourself or in the least set you on the right path with your TwinFlame game changer!

One Love,

J

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Raven medicine came in as a powerful activator after sitting in sacred circle with the divine feminine this past weekend. We were all anointed with the smudge of coal from the sacred fire ceremony held by The International Council of Thirteen Grandmothers, an alliance that has come together to educate and advocate on the need to return to the earth’s wisdom and it’s need for greater protection. These powerful women understand that without Gaia we are nothing and our mouths must begin to speak her wishes as we rearrange our ways of living and prioritize her needs. They come from all around the world and speak a language older than borders.

I asked them and raven how I can be of service to them today and they spoke of disclosure. Although I follow the authenticity movement with all my heart I still sometimes fear that what I say will be judged, misunderstood and used against me. I am human and with that humanness comes the natural insecurities of the ego protector. We all in some pre-fabricated form wish to preserve a certain image of ourselves in the world because many of us have felt what it is like to be judged, disliked and ostracized from some group or another. We all simply want to be loved and accepted for who we are and not have our challenges outweigh our gifts in the eyes of others, especially with family and friends.

The truth is, we all have shadows in our closets and one person speaking openly about theirs leaves room for others to speak openly too, allowing for a vibration of self-acceptance to emerge which are the foundational blocks to empowerment, truth and integrity. As soon as we do this we release the resistance we have towards the things that might be weighing us down and actually begin to gain strength over them.

In my family there are lots of secret shadows and many very much in your face shadows. On my mother’s side of the family the lineage is of Irish and Scottish decent. We were the slaves, prostitutes and thieves that founded this country along side the French and English that were shipped over. We are also the grand-daughters of the witches that were not burned at the stake. Many of us whom lived multiple generations of poverty and despair, many whom became controlled by alcoholism, drug addiction and un-aligned ways of creating abundance for ourselves in this world, yet hold so much wisdom in our hearts. It is completely natural to feed into these forms of escapism when pushed into a corner of disempowerment.

As we shared this man-made ‘medicine’ of alcohol with the Native people when we migrated, we offered them something to distract themselves with from our intentions to take over their land and culture. In the process we numbed them from their deep connection to the earth and their ancestral wisdom. Alcohol separated many of them from their roots and the knowledge of the land which is essential to the well-being of all citizens of this planet earth. As I sometimes roam the inner city jungle of Montreal I notice all of the natives presently still lost, searching for their home which has been taken over by another culture, another way of being that suffocates their wisdom and way of life. They beg for money to buy more alcohol to forget again, for a moment, the pain they carry within their hearts regarding how they were treated, how the sacred land has been treated and how they are now feeling so disconnected from their direct roots into Gaia, from the core of their being.

One of my sprit guides is a Lakota chief. He is the only spirit guide that will literally take over my vessel when he sees fit. The power of these people, a people that were so connected to nature, still lives within all of us and their wisdom and knowledge of things unseen and misunderstood through modern ways of seeking knowledge transcends time and space. They move through us and beyond us back out into he collective mind we all share. It is my belief that the wisdom of the earth and the ways of our ancestors, the natives to this land will return into the collective consciousness in great force over the next decades. So many of us are being called, can feel their influence in our lives and can see their influence popping up in post-modern culture, although may a times through its mis-appropriation.

The energy of the thirteen grandmothers spoke to me about disclosure of addictions and how we must embrace our totality and not just the idealized versions of the people we are thriving to be. Many of us, sacred rebels, are the underdogs, the ones that have suffered the blows from generational poverty and lack of education, but we are not to be discredited or discredit ourselves from the work we are doing here. We do not uphold false images, we truly stand-up for the rights of the less fortunate and do not play by the rules of the current system. Those who came from difficult lineages and are rising, ascending back into our ancient wisdom, act as bridges from the ancient world to the modern world. And we are proud to stand on the line between both worlds and wave our flags of truth to create harmony between the ancient heart and the modern mind of man.

Misguided attempts to uphold an image before authenticity is not going to lead the way into change, they are simply going to uphold the dogmatic mentality that has kept us locked down in shame, victimhood, misunderstanding and separation. In that spirit I wanted to share my own experience of addiction as I pushed through the challenges brought on to me by my family linage’s propensity to numb and forget.

Growing up in this world has always felt foreign to me, there always seemed to be so much pain in the experience, what I’ve held deep in my heart of knowing, is that this reality holds the potential for true bliss to be experienced and is a god-given right for all people of this world. Issues related to mental, physical, emotional and sexual abuse have dictated my ancestors experience, my grandmothers, grandfathers and finally my mother’s reality. We are not separate from our ancestors energetic imprints and DNA and so we are not separate from their pain. Our dedication to healing ourselves has become the doorway we give our children into a new realm of experience here on earth. One that generates the heart courage necessary for the people to reclaim their right for freedom as opposed to blindly numbing ourselves to the mega-corporations take over of this reality and our experience of it.

My mom’s side of the family are a bunch of super-gifted women, clairaudient, clairvoyant, clairsentient, extremely compassionate and tuned into the earth type of women but we still struggle with the habit of numbing our senses, our voices and our gifts because of addictive behaviours that were passed down to us born from enduring many forms of slavery. Many of us have fought long and hard against the odds of these challenges and are over-coming slowly but it’s also given us the humble view point of what is real in this world, what is true and what is necessary to grow and thrive.

I am so lucky to have worked through the grips of alcohol and drug abuse in my life but I still struggle with addictions in other forms. I have been on and off tobacco my whole life and as such I feel drawn to shaming myself for this, especially being on a spiritual path as a healer.  I also know better and understand that it is not how perfect we are but rather how truthfully we walk our paths as we strive to truly heal these wounds passed down to us. It is ultimately because of my wounds and facing them systematically in my life that I can hold space for others to do so. Through the experience of my own healings I can offer wisdom from a real place of power and conviction. I also love caffeine too. Being someone with low blood pressure, caffeine gives me the boost that I feel I need to bring myself into alignment with my natural state of being.

Each physical manifestation can be related to an emotional or mental state that is out of balance with our true natural self. This explanation on low blood pressure and the one below on smoking are paraphrased from Evette Rose’s Metaphysical Anatomy book. The reasons for low blood pressure are allowing ourselves to be weakened by life and harsh interactions with family. It also relates to our feeling that our needs will never be fulfilled, feelings of being stuck in stressful states due to our upbringing. Feelings that your mother and you did not have the support needed or the resources needed in order to accomplish goals intended. All of these mental and emotional states passed on to my mother and I created the conditions for low blood pressure to manifest in my life and thus the subconscious need to consume caffeine in order to bring myself back into balance.  I continue to heal myself and make the internal adjustments needed to release myself from past family trauma and thus slowly one by one I have overcome addiction after addiction.

Each of us engages in our addictions not out of weakness but rather as tools to strengthen ourselves as we move forward. We often feel like addictions should be hidden because they are simply there, created from hedonistic, selfish mindsets but most often they are not. They are often felt as the very things that are helping us take great big leaps forward to evolve past our pre-conditioning.

Smoking for example is born out of having felt too many responsibilities as a child, the need to support and fend for oneself too often. We may have had to emotionally support our family from an earlier age and felt obligated to step into such roles. We use it to calm the mind from stress and circumstances that we feel we can not control.

I highly recommend for anyone suffering from physical ailments or addictions whether that be food, shopping, t.v, porn, sex, cleaning, gossiping, alcohol, drugs or other, to look into and contemplate their metaphysical reasons for being. It is only when we can make the connections between how we are using these things to empower ourselves that we can begin to free ourselves from them. If you would like to book a session with me related to this topic I would be truly honoured to share this knowledge and wisdom with you, just message me here.

So with all that said I want to conclude by sharing with you that you are not your past, nor are you your shortcomings, your challenges and your addictions, you are the efforts made towards self-love, the striving you take towards healing and assisting others to heal. You are the bridges between worlds, ancient and new, when you rest in authenticity and self-acceptance. You are only doing yourself and others a favour when you stop trying to hold yourself to an image of perfection and instead embrace the humanness of who you are, who we all are, including our family circumstances and linages. Those challenges inherent in what was passed down to us, are great gifts in disguise, simply covered up over times of suffering. As we allow the light to shine on all our darkest corners we shed layer upon layer of past conditioning. May we all be free from our own inner critic and share ourselves fully with each other in raw open vulnerability so we may rise together and work together towards this new earth model we hold dear in our hearts.

Go sit on the land and speak to our trees and animals, they have guidance for you.

One love,

J

Raven picture taken from here
unmarked quote taken form here

Since going through major changes in the last few years I have consciously worked on cracking open my internal struggles, very privately at times and very extrovertedly at other times. Writing has always been a growth tool for me and even more so as I decided to take the plunge  and share some of the experiences I have had over the last year on-line. Shame and fear drive us away from sharing our vulnerabilities and sharing ourselves truthfully with others. We ALL struggle, including gurus, celebrities, millionaires, kings & queens but we’ve been accustom to negating and hiding this aspect of life because it is seen as weakness. I have come to understand with time that by hiding our struggles, we only stay half alive and we can’t celebrate in fullness our successes. I challenge you all to blog for 30 days and feel its gift of liberation from the tyranny of superficiality.  People start to actually have real conversations with you while others run, the one’s that run are ultimately the ones that have trouble dealing with their own sense of self-worth in the face of who they think they are vs who others think they are.

We are all on a unique path, a life journey and each path is valid despite what anyone wants to tell you. My step-dad shared this important story with me many moons ago. It’s about a boy and a grandfather that traveled from village to village with only one camel, to shorten the tale, the moral of the story is that no matter who was riding on the camel’s back was judged by the people in the next village as irresponsible, cold hearted or illogical. No matter what choices you make in this life, whether they are based on what others think you should do or on what your mother thinks you should do or on what you truly feel you should do, you will be judged. At the end of the day would you rather do things based on fear or do them based on self-love and integrity?

Each person contains a unique medicine which they offer others as we bump up against each other. This medicine can only be felt when we are standing in our fullness of being. We are all composed of different energies that have a predominating vibration that give off our unique essence. Some people allow the fullness of their expression and others limit it out of fear. Some express it extrovertly while some express it through their introversion. As my dear sister and goddess friend Veruschka Normandeau says, “let your freak flag fly high”, don’t limit who you are to please the masses, allow your whole being to shine through you so you may find truth and liberation from negative emotions related to having to suppress yourself for the comfort of others.

Don’t be afraid to be weird, we are all universes upon ourselves and within this understanding comes the vastness of our make-up and the incredible variety of our inner worlds. Freeing ourselves frees others to be who they truly are around us. If you walk into a stuffy room, you can just feel the bubbling of life underneath the surface, people wishing and wanting to break free, have some fun, be loved and love. The more people limit expression according to societal standards, of what’s acceptable to popular culture the less variety can be tasted in life.

This internal struggle is mimicked in the outside world as corporate brands saturating the market, leaving little room for small business to shine their unique offerings. Now a days, especially in the US if you want to find a cute coffee house with a unique atmosphere and vibe owned by a kick ass couple you have to drive past 10 Starbucks to make it there. The loss of variety is the loss of inspiration, the lost opportunities to expand as we bounce our unique flavours off of each other, merge some and proliferate into others. The amount of stress that people suffer as they try to meet society’s standard of cool, as they repress their true unique coolness is ridiculous. Working just to buy the car and house that says, I’m rich bitch, I’m more important than you, rather than digging into one’s passion and living from that truth firstly is a life half lived. Or spending hours shopping for clothing and putting on make-up that says ‘I now meet societies standards of beauty’, rather than finding your unique style based on your unique creativity of expression alone is a loss of diversity. When we can erase what is imposed upon us from the external we begin to do things from a place of empowerment, freeing ourselves completely from having to ‘be’ that impostor someone that was imposed upon us to begin with. Instead we get to ‘be’ the authentic one that is liberated as he inspires.

I’ve always been a little different in the sense that I never really felt like I fit in anywhere in particular, I was that kid that stood up on the desk in 9th grade biology class yelling, “What’s the meaning of life?”.  I am sure many of you have felt it equally at one point too, if you search deep enough you might remember that existential moment that shook you and awoke you to the knowing that what you see is not all that meets the eye. My biology teacher and I had a great relationship after that btw, one of the few that would talk to me with respect.

We are not meant to feel like we fit in ultimately, we are so so very different, our minds are so unique and as they say, ‘no two people see the colour red in the same way’, so do no two people see the world in the same way. But as we are born into society we are groomed and taught to think and feel similar things, to look at life in similar ways and to strive to be similar. Artists naturally advocate against mediocrity as they share their unique view of the world through their art. The more we are pushed through the cog wheel, the more our branches are trimmed in the same fashion. The more blind we are to greater truths out side one particular wave of thinking, with less and less outside thinkers to bring in new awareness, less and less positive change can occur. As I shed layers of my previous self, layers of conditioning from my up-bringing, conditioning from society and core beliefs that were simply there based on pre-existing fears of trying to fit in to please others I discovered one of the most important understandings of my life thus far.

Our struggle against each other is our internal struggle to be free. Sounds simple but try putting it into application. We get triggered by each other, we then judge each other and look to fix one another.  We work to twist and dissolve on the outside what is truly bothering us on the inside. We can work to make this world a better place without being on autopilot responses to our conditioned triggers. We can learn to see objectively and clearly what needs to be adjusted without projecting onto each other but yet we still haven’t understood the concept and learnings behind taking responsibility for our thoughts and feelings. We still locate the culprit outside of ourselves.

Activists are taught about this in Non-violent communication, activism is no less effective than when it is done with explosive anger or finger pointing. We must not embody the pain of what it is we are trying to protect or bring to a healthy balance as we try and fix it. Just as much as yelling at the top of our lungs to help a child understand something vs explaining it to them in a calm manner will. We experience things subjectively but that doesn’t mean that we can’t maintain detachment to what we are experiencing. Maintaining detachment allows us to see clearly above and beyond our personal conditioning—small mindedness—the solutions not blurred by our personal lenses and attachment to success in any given situation. Fighting a fight worth fighting requires us to be self-less and openminded.

The more we limit our capacity to express our uniqueness the more we stay in small minded thinking, the more we limit objective thinking and solution oriented co-operation. What’s the saying, “we can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them”. Albert Einstein. If we’re all thinking the same, we’re all living in a similar subjective bubble of conditioning. When Don Miguel Ruiz said don’t take things personally, what he meant is don’t be controlled by someone else’s bubble, own up to your own unique way of seeing the world and maintain that power with respect for other’s unique way of seeing the world too. Owning up to the feelings others illicit in you and taking responsibility for those feelings gives you the freedom to fully embody who you are on all levels.

It takes courage to step into our unique way of being and that detachment from what others think is also the detachment that is required to view our behaviour and reactions as our own. Instead of judging and blaming others for our unhappiness we begin to see where we ourselves have the power to change how we respond to outside stimuli. This way of living—free of unnecessary ego constraints—creates the conditions to constantly move inwards instead and heal within the wounds that caused us to be so reactive to begin with. Moving away from feeling victimized is the key to opening up space to problem solving the bigger issues in this world. Letting our Freak Flags Fly High leads to free thinking, free thinking leads to solutions outside the box, solutions outside of the box lead to progress and a greater tolerance for diversity. A greater compassion towards all walks of life and all living sentient beings.

I dare you to shamelessly be you but first you have to peel back all the layers that were never yours to begin with.

One Love,

J