A Universal Picture Viewer!

A big reason why we wish to tap into greater perspective is to gain clarity on the situations in our lives that we feel are holding us back from enjoying life. Tapping into greater perspective gives us choices, choices on how we wish to experience the world and how we wish to feel as we move throughout our day. It determines what we can mold our future into.

We move through life with particular viewing lenses based on the way in which we developed seeing the world. Dependant on our unique paths, what type of childhood we’ve experienced, what we’ve lived through, our particular blend of DNA and what conditioning, both culturally and socio-economically we’ve been molded from.

When we step outside of our regular patterns and habits we naturally begin to see the world differently. The experience of something automatically becomes different from moment to moment no matter how many times we relive it. It changes even more when we add new stimulus to our experience. This is why it’s so good to get out there, speak to a wide variety of people from different walks of life, take a class or travel to see the world from a totally different cultural and socio-economic perspective.

If we stay in a similar environment and revisit the same people day in and day out, our box of lenses is limited to those perspectives. Each time we step out and experience something new we’re adding a new lens to our box of perspectives and thus a new way of seeing the world that can help us over come our limitations.

I’ve been very fortune to have had a wide array of life experiences both in work, lifestyle, people and travel. I’ve collected many lenses over my 39 years of living on this blue dot. There is no limit to the amount of lenses we can acquire, they go on for infinity and that number is infinitely expanding, always. They allow us to swim in a sea of perspectives when interpreting the world.

I highly recommend to anyone stuck in a loop, depressed or feeling stagnant to try something new. You’ll be amazed at how much a new experience, doing something you would normally not do, will change your view of the world, yourself and thus increase your adaptability.

Carina Riseman my amazing Therapeutic Yoga teacher once said, our health is determined by our ability to adapt. I think this is really true. How well we can adapt to change will determine how rapidly we can overcome any obstacles life throws at us.

Each reaction we have to the world is based on our particular lenses. Our unique way of analyzing and experiencing our lives and others is dependant on the lenses we have accumulated. It is impossible to look at ourselves from a completely objective perspective, but we can through our subjective lenses, attempt to gain greater clarity of the truth behind our subjectivity.

I can’t pin point the quote but it’s so relevant, “we can never be the seen, we can only be the seer”.

Where we find ourselves stuck on our paths is when we are unable to move beyond a particular perspective. We all find ourselves reacting to situations, living out our triggers and personal biases based on our beliefs and the sometimes unruly feelings produced by them. How we grow is by challenging our own perspectives again and again, I read a great article here that inspired me to write my own version of the many layers of illusion we often find ourselves in.

One of my main tools for expansion is questioning myself and others, especially those in authority or those that create a great reaction within me. It’s extremely healthy to question everything, sometimes the answers to those questions provides us with a new way of seeing the world that literally becomes the perspective that shifts our experience completely out of victimhood, to that of empowerment, or from devastation to that of illumination.

We all have the need to work through our dharma and personal reactions to any given situation, the ones that trigger us off. It’s natural to jump when a wound is touched. We all have wounds and scars that have created some of our lenses. Creating room for a universal perspective to balance our wound’s reactivity out is tremendously helpful.

We can sit in our pain and equally hold a vantage point of universality that all perspectives are true simultaneously. This ability, this open mindedness, relieves suffering and condemnation, opens up the way for forgiveness and a greater truth to emerge.

This kaleidoscope of perspectives in large makes up the mystery of life, the fact that there are so many lenses to chose from and experience life through is what allows us to evolve.

It’s our absolute right to sit in any one single perspective for as long as we wish, but opening ourselves up to different view points of experience allows us to jump timelines, heal spontaneously, solve difficult problems and create new things to offer each other.

There is something in psychology that is called cognitive dissonance, this is the feeling that we get when we’re integrating various lenses or perspectives within ourselves. I am in the habit of holding space for many different perspectives at once, due to my life path, so it doesn’t feel so uncomfortable to be in two, three or four mental perspectives at once, but for those not used to looking at life from different angles it can be challenging at first to reach outside your field of victimhood or stubborn points of view to open space for growth.

Most people believe that the way they see the world is the only true way it is, period, but we all know that’s bs. We need to allow ourselves to step into uncomfortable states in order to grow and expand into new places, developing our capacity to master adaptability. Integrating fragmented aspects of self into one whole universal self, I believe is the end goal, Enlightenment.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when I’m listening to someone tell me ‘their side’ of a story, a story of how they’ve been hurt by someone and they expect me to pick sides with them. It seems like life would be a lot more peaceful if we could hold strong to the fact that there are many sides…always.  When we’re experiencing a particular side, it is because it’s essential to experience that side in order to heal our wounds and grow.

This doesn’t mean that the other person was right, people are so afraid of imaging that the other could be right due to ego constraints anyway but what it does mean, is that it is necessary to stay open to the wide array of possible reasons a person could be responding the way they are.

A person’s decisions and reactions have everything to do with them and nothing to do with us. Even if someone is acting in a hateful or amoral way, our response to them belongs solo to us and is our responsibility alone.

“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters”. Epictetus. It’s about how well we can turn coal into liquid gold, hate into love and sadness into joy, not only for ourselves but for greater harmony.

This is when life becomes fun again. Knowing that how we are reacting or viewing the world is simply a temporary perspective, one that will inevitably change with time as new experiences layer themselves on top of each other. Wow what freedom!

Changing lenses allows us to not take ourselves too seriously. It allows us more room to play and dream. It also allows us to not be as reactive and narrow minded towards others and life’s situations. Lessening how much we can be hurt by others and how much we choose to judge others. If we don’t like the lenses through which we are viewing the world we can just switch them or choose to hang out with different people, it’s that simple.

The thing we have to watch out for when tapping into universal perspective is not to use this perspective as a type of spiritual bypassing, a way of over-looking our responsibility in dealing with our wounds and trauma.

When we’ve been triggered, the first step is to turn the microscope on self and do the inner work to see where we ourselves have created the situation which we’ve been triggered by. From there we can transform the lens that was created by the wounded parts of ourselves, the one that caused the trigger and suffering. Once we are no longer triggered we are way more effective at dealing with an actual outside problem in the world and taking concrete steps to change it.

If the trigger keeps on returning through other situations and people in our lives, you are guaranteed that you have not dealt with the root cause yet.

Once this huge feat has been completed, a birds eye view of clarity will appear, not for us to judge others as to where they are in their process but to know clearly that what they are offering as a vibration is not something we resonate with. Then and only then can we use proper discernment to decide whether it is healthy to continue sharing time with that person.

We all have every right to discontinue spending time with people that are offering a vibration or perspective we determine is not in alignment with our unique path of development. People feel so guilty about this, especially in regards to family members but that is usually because they feel like they have to find reasons to justify their decision, which in turn produces judgment.

The natural way of the ego is to push down which it feels is limiting its evolution by discerning through mental markers that which it is above. We need not do this, we are all on our unique paths and are perfectly aligned to what it is we need to experience in order to grow.

We are all learning and growing so much each day. In my eyes wounds and scars are a beautiful thing. They remind us of what we have lived through and provide us with a platform from which to grow from. Without them, we would not appreciate the blissful moments and perspectives life can offer.

One love,

J

FractioNation – How to Steer Clear of False Lovers

This Blog post is dedicated to the feely, mushy, lovey dovey empath types out there that keep on getting hooked into the wrong types of people, getting their hearts broken endlessly. Empaths aren’t necessarily naive, we are simply incorrigible lovers. We love to love and due to our sensitive nature we have learned to find the diamond in the rough—no matter how deeply buried— and focus on it to the point where we literally ignore all the rest, even the red flags, those aspects within others that could be damaging to our mental, emotional and physical wellbeing.

Whether we are female or male, false lovers exist for both. Have you ever met a full on player or a girl who is outright after your cash? These are not the people I speak of, they are to some degree respectable. They offer their truth, authenticity and make no excuses for who they are and what they are after, sex and/or money. I can relate to their honesty, it allows us to make a conscious choice and once that choice is made they usually respect it in return and a fun relationship can develop on mutual trust. If one wishes to pursue anyway, at least when the shit hits the fan and you realize you wanted something deeper you only have yourself to blame.

Those who I speak of are highly covert with their endeavours to take what they want from you with no regards to your feelings or personal journey. They are those that are highly intelligent and manipulative in their tactics to control your sexuality, that which ultimately leads to mind control. It can also be understood as mind control that leads to controlling that person’s sexuality or bank account.

These are not bad people at their core, I don’t believe anyone is, they are people who have, due to their childhood and life experiences, extreme self-worth issues and are vibrating in a constant state of grief. They are those that fear rejection and being hurt to such a degree that they chose to not take any chances of opening themselves up to vulnerability and love. They are so grief stricken that they can not even begin to contemplate allowing nature to run its course and lead them naturally and gently to a person who would be a good match to their personality, love language and evolution. Someone who they could discover life with and appreciate each other as they chase after their dreams.

They are the people that need to feel in control on every level. They need to control exactly how they wish to interact and how much they let others into their inner worlds. The risk is otherwise too great for them. They can not imagine taking the chance of being hurt again. I feel for them as my heart has been broken before too as I’m sure almost anyone reading this can relate to. These people have been hurt on a much deeper level though, walls have been so securely put in place that they themselves likely not know they exist.

I like to call this type of interaction Mindfuckery at its finest. The mental games run incredibly deep, nothing is unthought of. Every little communication and interaction with potential lovers or business potential is carefully plotted out first in order to limit all possibilities of them getting hurt or losing. Nothing they say is authentic, everything they say is in fact scripted. They have no intention of experiencing a sincere relationship in which they can grow and discover themselves further through a natural relationship dynamic. They are simply there to get what they want and when they are done they will simply leave you at the curb with no remorse and no excuses, on to the next.

This has been an ongoing collective healing throughout 2016 leading into 2017. Many people I have interacted with are/were faced with the fact that they have ultimately fallen into the trap of false love, clinging to the belief that those who broke their hearts can not possibly be as cold hearted as they appear. Often a warning will appear on sites that offer these types of tactics for mind control that the receiver could potentially lash out violently at them or become a stalker as they endlessly search for the missing pieces to the puzzle. The ironic scenario is for those who actually see beneath the games and see the beautiful soul with a million qualities that they themselves are unable to see, due to lack of self love.

Here are some of the key tactics used by False Lovers.

  1. They stay as mysterious as possible, never allowing you into their inner worlds so that they can draw you in with this age old allure while leaving room to keep you in the dark about who they are, never giving you a chance to see their weaknesses and make them feel vulnerable thus catching on to their game.
  2. They will always keep you waiting on communications. The psychology behind this is simple, we are drawn in deeper to what we can not have. You know those potential partners that leave you hanging for longer than necessary in order to keep you thinking and waiting on them for one simple reply?  The more time you think of them, the more your energy gets hooked into their fields, creating a stronger energetic cord of power over you.
  3. They will use reverse psychology on you at every chance they get, let’s face it, everyone knows reverse psychology works like a charm.
  4. At the beginning they will express approval over your negative qualities and eventually turn them against you. Allowing you to buy into your own bullshit at first, where a real lover would lovingly challenge you.
  5. They will overlook your good qualities creating a space for insecurity to develop, creating the impression that they know something you do not.
  6. They are big story tellers, every person admires someone who can tell a good story and entertain. They make a point to learn this skill but usually their stories are quite boring and there’s no real authenticity behind them. Often going on about all the amazing things they have (or don’t really) to keep your attention on them.
  7. They will appear to be independent and detached because they literally don’t care about whether you come or go. To them you are nothing more than the mere catch of the day, month or year.
  8. They will always appear to be fun loving and upbeat, never really expressing a natural array of emotions because they wish to maintain a false sense of perfection and popularity. The more they are liked, talked about and praised the better chances they have at obtaining what they want, whether that be opportunities in money or sex.
  9. They will constantly be studying behind the scenes what you can offer them in regards to potential prestige, opportunities of business, obtaining access to your network-who you know that can further their end goals and other potential lovers to use to their advantage.

For those men and women out there that believe using these tactics is still ‘challenging’ oneself in the game of life, there is nothing less challenging then following set rules that guarantee a fixed outcome based on the natural principals of psychology. That’s just plain cheating. The TRUE challenge is in meeting someone with authenticity, with an open heart and mind. This is when life can truly begin to teach you about knowing thyself. 

Due to the natural laws of this universe and how it is constantly wishing to balance itself out, empaths will naturally be a match to these people and vice versa. Where fractionators increase empaths’ awareness of the limitations of the ego and it’s power of persuasion, empaths increase fractionators awareness of the possibilities of living in self-love and authenticity.

As we step into greater sovereignty, the intentions behind these types of connections will become more and more apparent and these broken people will begin to heal themselves slowly as their focus moves into their deepest traumas and pain. It will allow them to face their inner demons, the ones still controlling their lives and limiting their experience of freedom.

Empaths are learning to not love blindly but to harness the power of the mind equally, creating a balanced state of being so they can live in a world where they are less vulnerable to life’s shadows and illusions. It is equally healing empaths, many of whom have been sexually abused and objectified, forcing them to own their sexuality once again.

Take time to get to know a potential lover, if you feel an extra ordinary attraction or attachment to them take a moment to ask yourself questions about their behaviour and whether or not they fit the match of a False Lover, based on the tactics mentioned above. Never sell yourself short and know that you deserve to be seen, heard and felt on a deep level by friends and lovers alike! Chose wisely and think BALANCE!

Blog on sacred connection coming soon!

One Love,

J